題目：

假如你是李華，你的筆友David要來北京旅行。他給你發來郵件，想瞭解北京的情況。請你根據他的問題回復郵件。

1. When is the best time to visit Beijing?
2. What are some good places to visit in Beijing?
3. What other things do I need to know about Beijing before I come?

註意：

1. 詞數100左右。
2. 可以適當增加細節，以使行文連貫。

原作：

①Learning that you are paying a visit to Beijing, I'm very glad to offer you guidance!

②The finest period to visit Beijing, of course, must be late autumn. ③During that season, the weather is neither too hot nor too cold, which is just fit for travelling. ④There are many spots in Beijing that worth visiting. ⑤Among these attractions, the Tiananmen Square is my best recommendation. ⑥It serves as the center of Beijing metropolitan area and the symbol of China. ⑦Besides, regarded as the top 2 universities in China, Peking and Tsinghua are also worth a visit. ⑧Considering that Beijing is very big, you'd better prepare comfortable sneakers and make full use of public transportation. ⑨Book hotel in advance so that you can get discounts.

⑩I hope my guidance will be of help to you!

(134 words)

詳細評析：

①Learning that you are paying a visit to Beijing, I'm very glad to offer you guidance!

首先，從整個句子語法結構來講，沒有大的錯誤。但是一個不太容易被看出的錯誤是邏輯上的問題。“得知”（learning）這個行為是過去發生的（言說任何動作，除瞭用過去式之外，我們自然根據需要可以用-ing分詞來描述。此處的“learning”是一個非限定動詞【non-finite verb】），照理為瞭相互承應，其後的句子謂語動詞一般也應該使用一般過去時。但是本句的謂語卻用瞭一般現在時。這是不太符合語法邏輯的。所以，正確的句子寫法最好是這樣的：Learning that you are paying a visit to Beijing, I was very glad.。但問題是，這樣寫還是顯得多餘，不夠經濟，語氣也不太自然，“glad”後面突然煞尾瞭。因此，此句可調整為這樣：I'm very glad to learn that you're planning to visit Beijing.（planning改用coming也是可以的）。

其次，開篇第一個用詞“learning”，現在分詞的文體風格不太合適於朋友之間的書信往來，因為-ing分詞是比較正式的表達方式。所以用狀語從句就比較親切自然，所以假如維持整個句子結構，那麼寫成“When I learned that you are planning to visit Beijing, I felt very glad.”。此外，“are paying a visit to”這個短語也是比較正式的說法，同理也不太適用於這種書信往來。所以改成前述的用詞比較合適。

第三，名詞“guidance”從語義上講不是最佳選詞，用advice比較好。所以，承前句的修改，此處可擴展為另一個句子：Here I'd like to give you some advice as to your planned visit。

②The finest period to visit Beijing, of course, must be late autumn. ③During that season, the weather is neither too hot nor too cold, which is just fit for travelling. ④There are many spots in Beijing that worth visiting. ⑤Among these attractions, the Tiananmen Square is my best recommendation. ⑥It serves as the center of Beijing metropolitan area and the symbol of China. ⑦Besides, regarded as the top 2 universities in China, Peking and Tsinghua are also worth a visit. ⑧Considering that Beijing is very big, you'd better prepare comfortable sneakers and make full use of public transportation. ⑨Book hotel in advance so that you can get discounts.

第2句裡的“finest period”語義不恰當，題目中的“best time”已經是一個很好的表達瞭，所以題目中少量合適的詞語可以重復；如果一定要換，可以使用the best season（近義詞的區別和使用其實是英語學習的一個難點。我平時對學生講，你要花八分之一的時間來區別近義詞）。情態動詞“must”沒有必要使用，此處不需添加這個語氣，就用直截瞭當的be。另外，“late”可以不用，就說“autumn”即可。所以，本句修改如下：The best time to visit Beijing is, of course, autumn。

第3句寫得很好。

第4句有少量的語病或意思表達不完整的地方。“spots”前加一個形容詞scenic就好得多。其實，你可能要表達“名勝古跡”，那麼它的英文是scenic sports and sites of historic interest。最後，“worth”前漏瞭謂語動詞，故加上are。

第5句你用瞭一個介詞短語放在句首以承接前句，那麼既然放在句首此句就恰好可以使用倒裝（使你的句子結構多樣化能幫助你得分）。那麼此句修改如下：Among these attractions is the Tiananmen Square, which I definitely recommend to you.。不過隻說一處地方似顯不夠，按照情理也說不過去，因此加一個“長城”（the Great Wall）就好得多。那麼謂語動詞就要改用are。

第6句原本寫得很好瞭，隻有一處小語病（但這種語病是我最討厭的），那就是在“Beijing metropolitan area”前漏用定冠詞。不過，如果前句的修改用瞭兩處名勝古跡，那麼本句的主語就不能再是“It”。那麼就重復前句的“The Tiananmen Square”。

第7句最好把“regarded”開始的過去分詞短語放在主語後面，現在這種語序讓讀者乍一讀覺得有點突兀。不過，最好還是不推薦這兩處地方，因為對一個特定的遊客來講，大學不是非看不可的，何況北京可看的東西太多瞭。故修改如下：Besides, Beijing University and Tsinghua University, regarded as the top 2 of all Chinese universities, are also worth a visit。

第8句的句子結構是對的，但有兩處用詞不合理。首先，不可以說“prepare comfortable sneakers”，這是動賓不搭配的。但可以說be prepared to take sth。其次，最好說“a pair of sneakers”。

第9句整體很好，但“hotel”前面漏用瞭不定冠詞。另外，此處“discount”最好用單數，因為前面隻說及一傢酒店，邏輯上講應該用單數。要具備使用標準短語的意識（我們一般說get a discount）。學習英語時諸如此類微小的用法要特別小心。用名詞單數還是復數、用不用冠詞、用定冠詞還是不定冠詞、加不加標點、空不空格、用英式拼寫還是美式拼寫等都要斟酌好。這些平時要多觀察、思考、查閱好。

⑩I hope my guidance will be of help to you!

最後一句，如前文所說，那個“guidance”用得不合適，那麼這裡的“guidance”自然可以改用advice。不過，英語中有一種思維方式，是不直接說自己的是什麼東西，而是傾向於用what開始的句子。這其實是一種自謙的思維和表達方式。那麼本句可以很得體地改為“I hope what I said is of some help to you”。

修改文：

I'm very glad to learn that you’re planning to visit Beijing. Here I'd like to give you some advice as to your scheduled visit.

The best time to visit Beijing is, of course, autumn. During that season, the weather is neither too hot nor too cold, which is just fit for travelling. There are many scenic spots and sites of historic interest in Beijing that are worth visiting. Among these attractions are the Tiananmen Square and the Great Wall, which I definitely want to recommend to you. The Tiananmen Square serves as the center of the Beijing metropolitan area and the symbol of China. Besides, Beijing University and Tsinghua University, ranked as the top 2 of all Chinese universities on the mainland, are also worth a visit. Considering that Beijing is very big, you'd better be prepared to take a pair of comfortable sneakers and make full use of public transportation. Finally, you'd better book a hotel in advance so that you will get a discount.

I hope what I said is of some help to you!

(177 words)

註：177字略多，但不用擔心，平時寫得多一些，考試時就能做到文思泉湧，下筆如有神。但在考試時要打好腹稿，註意卷面的整潔，絕對不要超越作文的邊線。特別是寫信，因為它有一個提供的落款的下方。何況，一味寫多，對時間分配是一個考驗。書法還要練好，我看李瑋的作文就感到更加賞心悅目。

特別重要：

每當你讀到別人使用的出其不意的句子結構或用語時，都要趕緊查閱英英詞典，細心閱讀相關詞條和例句，特別註意鑒別使用所謂同義詞。

如本次修改文中用到的historic，那就要細心閱讀其詞典釋義和例句，還要區分它和historical的不同。再如，本次用到interest，那麼你就要對它的釋義搞得一清二楚。

學外語一定不能急功近利，要沉下心來，細心研讀，註意細微之處。做到一絲不茍，明察秋毫。因此，要把牛津詞典帶在身邊，它可是你最好的無時不在的老師。

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